Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
