i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
