I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
being pregnant is like rehab
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
