Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
