If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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