My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
