the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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