I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
