It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
