btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
