I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
