Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
