Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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