Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
