just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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