hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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