I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He passed out mid-signature
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
