After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
