Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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