I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
