i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
