I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
