just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
