capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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