So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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