My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
