I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
