Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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