They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
