This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I will pee on everything he values.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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