Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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