Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm like, not good at living.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
