he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
