so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
