I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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