The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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