he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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