she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
either way he was missing a nipple.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
