Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
