I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
