So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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