Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
