I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
