You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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