thus making me awesome and them whores
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
