he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
