he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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