My nipple is on Facebook.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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