She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
