He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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