yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Floor bacon is actually really good
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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